Thinking outside the box

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(If you haven’t got a sense of humour, don’t read this)

The trouble with wheelchairs is the wheels. Obvious I know, but true nevertheless. You can’t go up pavements, stairs over deep mud, snow or up mountains. We need a means of getting about that mimics the human leg. An exoskeleton that supports the whole body. Anyone who has seen Iron Man will be ahead of me here. In fact you will have overtaken me and headed back to the changing room laughing. OK, so there are a few problems. We don’t have the technology, huge cost, the power source in his suit is make believe. It has a computer that is beyond unbelievable. Hey, who’s counting? Oh you are. Well bear with me.

There are some positives to the idea. Just think about it. You wear an exoskeleton of metal that basically does all the standing, walking and who knows maybe flying for you. Imagine the possibilities you are out walking, yes walking down the high street. Someone goes to push your disability equipment without your permission (your Iron Man suit) and you fire one of those hand lasers. No ifs or buts, problem sorted. Someone gets shirty about your disability or questions your having a Blue Badge, mind you with an Iron Man suit… anyway you blast a hole in the ground in front of them. Argument ended! Or maybe you just fly off; dramatically.

Just think of arriving at venues. No more queuing up, you just fly in and land centre stage. Of course it would be a bit bulky to wear all the time. But the suit would just fly off into a suitcase, like in the movies. Then when you need it, you press a button or call your computer butler and you are in it again. No hoists or helpers, all automated.

There may be slight issues of cost. Perhaps the NHS might baulk at funding the many millions each suit would cost. So maybe a voucher scheme? Fundraising? Anyway I can’t think of everything, I am just the ideas man. Did they say to Edison, ‘no one would be able to afford to electrify their home?’ Well, probably, but that’s not the point. Cost isn’t everything, OK so maybe it is rather important.

Exoskeletons are most definitely the way forward. Fully supporting and doing the work of walking, running, flying, fighting, oops I mean whatever, it could be washing up rather than fighting. Imagine the skies filled with flying ex wheelies. What would we call ourselves, Flyees? The mind boggles and I hope chuckles. But there is a serious point to my nonsense. Some form of exoskeleton might work, not Iron Man style, but a body fitting and supporting robotic aid. Maybe a future idea.

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