The Social Distancing Dance

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Have you noticed how we have all learned to dance. Well, maybe not me. I can’t even walk. But my wife Mary comes back from her walks with fascinating tales of the new dance that is sweeping the nation and I assume the world. It is all the rage and I bet you are doing it too. Unless you are shielding or unable to walk of course.

The dance goes like this. First you take your partner by the hand and head off down the street. You take a few steps forward and then you see a stranger, then you take a step to the right and walk on through. You take two more steps, then look to the right and you quick step your partner right across the road. Then you promenade and chassis for a few more steps. Then you see another stranger and you dose se doe. You swing your partner to the left and you cross back over. Then you do a twirl and continue forward. You do a backward pivot and you turn around, then you promenade some more and you head on home.

OK so I am being silly. But it is like a well coordinated dance isn’t it? People walking down the street trying to keep a strict social distance by crossing over and weaving around people. Criss crossing the roads. All that’s lacking is the music. I am sure some enterprising person will take a series of shots of people avoiding each other and put it to music. By the way if it makes a fortune can I claim copyright.

I have been thinking as the restrictions ease and our bubbles grow, the dance is going to become bigger. So rather than a maximum of a dancing couple waltzing or quick stepping down the high street. I wonder if we will end up with line dancing or perhaps a giant barn dance. I remember trying one of those in the 1980’s and doing it very badly. I was always heading the wrong way. Just imagine what a mess we could get in when two big groups meet each other and try to smoothly dance by one other. We will have people Stripping the Willow and doing a Hinky Dinky Parlez Vous all over the place. Not to mention the Gay Gordon’s and The Farmer’s Jigs. I wonder if cowboy boots and Stetsons will be added to masks as essential equipment to go out and about.

As for the future of actual dance venues. They could add special dance floors with plastic screens segmenting them. It could be all the rage in dance clubs of the future. Everyone dancing in an individual Perspex bubble. I have seen 1960’s films where they used to dance in cages. This is the natural progression. The band could be behind a screen. Maybe robots could serve the drinks.

Can I please stop anyone who is feeling horrified. I am kidding. When I write blogs like these they are taking the situation and looking at the absurd side of it. They are meant to be a bit of light relief. Do not take me seriously. I feel such comments will fall on deaf ears. I have had so many serious responses to previous humorous blogs. But I can try, please just smile, don’t get offended. We are living in difficult times. Very stressful times and I am just trying to lighten the mood.

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