Someone pointed out that with the word “Queue”, the letter ‘Q’ does all the work and the rest of the letters silently “queue” behind it. This got me thinking, are there other words where some of the letters are similarly work shy? “Tea” for instance, the ‘e’ and ‘a’ could be off having a cuppa or a quick bite they certainly are not working, ‘T’ is doing all the heavy lifting. The same goes for the other “Tee”, the two ee’s are probably off playing golf, they most certainly cannot be heard; not a peep. As for “Oh!” Do you think the shock of the word itself has caused the ‘h’ to hide? Where is it? I can’t hear it. “Bee” is another one, the two ee’s must be suffering anaphylactic shock after a sting; are they in hospital? Or have they some other excuse for keeping quiet. It really is not an acceptable excuse for doing nothing.
But there are many other letters in the English language that don’t pull their weight. Letters that are working part time or not at all. Let’s face it, English is full of them. We hear a lot about ‘people’ who are workshy, but what about all these lazy letters? Isn’t it time we had a clamp down, a purge, a clean up of the English language? It’s just not good enough. ‘Enough’, hold on a second, what’s the ‘o’ up to in keeping quiet? Then what about that gh, pretending to be an ‘f’?! I told you English is very messed up.
I say remove all these lazy letters. Since when do we need two letters to do the job of one. That is just making jobs for the boys. If we did that in a factory there would be a public outcry; but I hear no fuss when it happens in words; look what is that second ‘p’ up to in ‘happens’? In fact while we are at it let’s clean up the English language and only use letters and letter combinations that make sense. Who told an “s” it sounded like a “z”? What an imposter. While we are at it since when did an “e” sound like an “i” or a “ph” sound like an “f”? I already mentioned ‘gh’ sometimes pretending it’s an ‘f’. What’s wrong with this language?
Enuf is enuf, no mor slakers, no mor rubish. From this point on I wil not tolerat it any mor. If it haz no sownd, it can go. Ware wud we b if we let it continu? Just think of al the paper we wil sav. Haz it got 2 l’s? No, nothing haz any mor. Haz it got 2 of any leter, no! Huray, we al cry. Kidz can at larst spel. Az for grama we wil simplify that 2. No mor plu perfect, past participuls, definit anythings. Inglish languag wil b ez to lurn. Lak grama not make hard understand, ez now, me tel u how clever, lurning much simpl now. Ez now very gud. U agre?
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