Take Two

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There seem to be so many re-runs I’ve decided now is the time to join in. Not because it saves on creativity; that’s why everyone else does it. No, my reason is that most of you have never been in my basement; metaphorically that is. You have not trawled my archives, looked through the back issues, read my history, asked about my past. To be honest I’m a bit hurt; don’t you care about me? But I will forgive you if you read this.

The following series of blogs carry a Government health warning:

Don’t operate heavy machinery while reading them.’

I feel that I must add that warning as one of my carers was reading one of my blogs while walking along the road; she walked into a lamp post. Just imagine what would have happened if she had been operating heavy machinery; it doesn’t bear thinking about. If you are wondering which post she was reading it was: “Not so public convenience.” Actually that blog should carry it’s own warning. In fact I think it does. My blogs are at: howcaring.com just in case you want to see why she walked into a lamp post.

Don’t expect a copy and paste of archived blogs. If you want them as they were, you’d still need to read the unadulterated version. These will be adulterated; that sounds as if I will be doing something illegal! In fact I’m not. These will be the all new, singing and dancing versions with added commentary. After all, I know what happened when I posted them. Hindsight is a wonderful thing, but reading back into events with added commentary is even better.

For example, when I posted about elves in Amazon devices and how Amazon were going to take me to court and prove elves could not get into their Echo devices. It was only afterwards that I can look back at the spirited defence mounted on my behalf. Looking at those generous hearted comments, we can laugh at the folly of one person saying: “I don’t know much about elves.” When I pointed out it was a farce. Or appreciate the tongue in cheek fun of those who continued the serious debate about the rights and wrongs of Amazon suing me over the alleged elf infestation. All matters relating to the legal issues arising must be referred to my solicitors: Ms Ery Guts at May, Hew, Makemoney & Partners, 1 Gold Row, London.

Let me not tell you too much before I give you the first re-run. There are those who wonder at the picture I use of myself on the Website and its tag line “Shall we get dressed now?” What better place to start than at the beginning and don’t worry I will avoid singing any Sound of Music songs as we Start at The Very Beginning, a very good place to start.

My first ever blog was:

“Shall we get in the bath now?”

“OK, shall we get in the bath now.” This was said by one of the two young ladies who were preparing my bath at a nursing home.

In case you’re wondering, and I know you are, nursing homes only have a couple of nurses at most. The rest of the carers are the same as in a standard care home. The two young ladies mentioned above were carers, not nurses. I don’t need two nurses to bath me. Although that does take me back to when I was 28 years old (The full story is in the blog “Ambulance Transport.”) I was in hospital with a severe electrical burn. Only one arm was working. A nurse, yes it was a nurse this time took me into the bathroom for a bath. She said; “shall we get undressed now?” I was too shocked and embarrassed to notice at the time. I just said I could manage fine.

Anyway back to the original blog. These two young ladies are probably tapping their feet by know waiting for an answer, much like you. So let’s hear my reply:

“Is there room for all three of us?” I asked innocently.

Can I just make an aside here. Yes, another one. There have been those who have suggested my comment may not have been innocent. I assure you, it was. After all, she did ask if we could all have a bath. The bath looked too small to me; perhaps I was wrong.

I had noticed over the previous few days that “we” was used by carers a lot. I guess it was to be encouraging or they just hadn’t thought of it. But once I zoned in on it, I realised that carers were asking to join me in the bath, in the shower and even in bed “shall we get into bed now?”.

Now you are just adding your own interpretations here. They only wanted to get into bed with me.

They were wanting to eat my food, wear my clothes, although I think my clothes may have been a little baggy on them, get into the sling before me and even sit in my wheelchair! “Shall we get into the wheelchair?” I suggested they might be heavy on my knee. There were a couple of them looked light enough.

When I got home from the nursing home, I was so focused on it I noticed my carers at home similarly wanted to eat my lunch “shall we eat now?” This seemed a little mean, I only have small portions; yes I’m big boned. Of course, once I pointed it out, they started to catch themselves saying ‘we’. 

The one that inspired the name of my site is, “shall we get dressed now?” Is probably the most common and one I have to bite my tongue not to respond to the most. Having pointed it out, one of my regular carers has become so aware of this that she will occasionally joke “We! Are going to get dressed now.” Waiting for my eyebrows to raise and then we both have a good laugh.

I had never noticed she was undressed either.

Then again it can be two ways. I’ve become much more aware of saying to Mary on her return, “We’ve tidied up.” Taking credit for the carers work. 

Language is such a funny thing; we say things without meaning to and of course it’s so easy to distort meaning. But it’s also important to be aware of what we are saying and why.

Since I wrote this blog it has had the biggest effect of all my blogs. It has been read world-wide and by a lot of people in the caring professions. I’m not boasting; just telling you how wonderful I am. Oh I see, I am boasting. A tutor at a teaching college in the USA contacted me after reading it and asked if I would mind her making some of my blog’s part of their course reading material; it’s a course teaching about Continuing Health Care. Of course, I said no, how dare you use my material for such a worthy purpose. OK, so I was honoured as this was the reason, I started writing the blog. I’m still waiting to be flown out first class as a visiting speaker. If you are reading this, I’m ready to go, bags are packed.

If you have carers or you are a carer, take note of that ‘We’ it is still used so much. I do realise why it’s used. The idea is to help people feel comfortable and included; it’s meant to be friendly. But I think you’ll agree that it sounds far too inclusive and far too friendly. Anyway shall ‘we’ finish this blog now?

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