Where’s It Been?

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I gather the football is coming home. But, where has it been and why didn’t the neighbours throw it over the wall a long time ago. When we used to play football as kids and kick the ball over the wall; something that happened a lot. Either they threw it back with a shout of, “oi, don’t do that again.” Or, if they were out, we would nip round, scout out the neighbours house and run like the billy-oh to fetch our ball back.


So my question remains. Why has it taken so long for our neighbours to throw the ball back? Is it to do with Brexit? Now that we are leaving Europe have they decided there is no point hanging onto our ball any longer? Or is the ball so old and deflated that they think we might as well have it back?


Somebody please explain. I just don’t get all this singing. “Footballs coming home, it’s coming.” Where from? Why, How? While we are on the subject how do people know it’s coming back? Have our neighbours given us a heads up? Did the German’s say, “Vee have finished vith it now.” Or the Danes say, “pay us some geld and you can have your ball back?” Is it even up to them, haven’t those Italian’s got it? I’m sure I saw an ice cream seller singing, “just one balleto. Keep it for me.” Was he just teasing? Will he have a say in the matter?


Anyway, you know me, I would never step on any holy cows, nor tackle any thorny issues. I certainly wouldn’t upset any football fans. Football is far too important. One thing is obvious to me; the football is coming home, whatever that means. Watch out Italy, England are going to win on Sunday.

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