Cinder

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Have you noticed that some people love to clean; I won’t say obsessed by it. They just seem to love it. While the rest of us can take it or leave it. Well, let’s be honest; we’d rather leave it. So, I had this great idea and I am going to become a millionaire on the back of this idea. A new people matching app, Cinder. No, it does not sound like any other app. I am not copying any other app no app was hurt in the writing of this blog.

Cinder is a completely new idea to pair people up. Those who love cleaning with those who don’t. Why did no one think of it before. Imagine, you are sitting in the pub, you have uploaded your profile pics onto Cinder. Photos of your messy house, cluttered rooms, dirty sideboards, overflowing sink. Elsewhere someone who loves cleaning is sitting in their immaculate lounge looking for a spec of dust to hoover or a smudge to wipe. They look around sadly; everything is sparkling and clean. Suddenly their phone pings; your profile pops up. They look at your profile pics and their heart flutters, their eyes widen, lips part, they lick their lips, breath speeds up, “can it be true?” they say out loud. This is their dream come true, they look around their spotless flat and let out a cry of joy. Leaping to their feet they swipe right on the Cinder app.

In the pub you hear a ping see the match and your heart leaps for joy. Surely it can’t be real. No one would want your mess, your untidy house. This is just too good to be true. Is a friend playing tricks? Have your prayers been answered? You swipe right and wait with baited breath. Yes, it’s a Cinder match; the pumpkin icon turns into a coach.

I can see that in order to attract more people some may be tempted to make their houses deliberately messy; hoping to get better Cinderella’s. Did I say that Cinder matches are called Cinderella’s? That’s male and female; no sexism at Cinder. Men and women are just as likely to both love or hate cleaning.

There will of course be systems in place to prevent any cheating. The ‘Step Mother’ system will weed out any cheats and put them into the ‘Ugly Sister’ pile. That will prevent people being tempted to abuse the system. You see, this is a totally real suggestion. You thought I was kidding. As if I would ever joke about something as serious as cleaning. Anyway, Buttons, will be on hand to keep an eye on things happening behind the scenes and if you use your PC, watch out for the mice turning into footmen.

Any Cinderella who gets 20 matches in a month will be awarded glass slippers and at the end of each year we will name the Prince or Princess of Cinder. I think that covers all the salient points. So, any investors just line up ready to try on the glass slippers.

Cinder, it’s quick it’s clean, it’s the only way to find your perfect cleaning partner.

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